1 Optimist, Pessimist, And Engineer
To an optimist, the glass is half full.
To a pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

2 A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a 
black sheep through the window of the train.
"Aha", says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black."
"Hmm", says the physicist, "You mean that some Scottish sheep are black".
"No", says the mathematician, "All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland,
 and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!"

3 An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position in a large corporation.
The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: "How much is two plus two?"
The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom
and announcing, "Four."
The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. Before answering the last question, 
he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. After a consultation with the
United States Bureau of Standards and many calculations, he also announced, "Four."
The accountant was interviewed last, and was asked the same questions. At the end of his interview, before
answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was
there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, "How much do you want it to be?" 

4 A lead hardware engineer, a lead software engineer, and their Project Manager are working on a big project
that is almost complete.
During their lunch break, while taking a walk outdoors, they come upon an old brass lamp. 
The Project Manager picks it up and dusts it off. Poof -- out pops a genie.
"Thank you for releasing me from my lamp prison. I can grant you three wishes." 
Since there are three of you I will grant one wish to each of you.
The hardware engineer thinks a moment and says, 
"I need a vacation and i'd like to be sailing a yacht across the Pacific, racing before the wind"
"It is done", said the Genie, and poof, the hardware engineer disappears.
The software engineer thinks a moment and says, "I need a vacation and would like to be riding my BMW in the
American Southwest." - "It is done", said the Genie, and poof, the software engineer disappears.
The program manager looks at where the other two had been standing and rubs his chin in thought. 
Then he tells the Genie, "I'd like those two back in the office after lunch."